Suck it up and say it
by No one and Nobody
Summary: Completed! CHAP4UP! I love Aya x Rei, but I've always been hoping Aya would show a little backbone. This is the story of how she earned her place as his equal.
1. Suck it up and Say it

**Disclaimer: I do not own GALS! (sadly)**

**I hope you like this... I just got into a random GALS! rush, and felt like writing this.**

**Well, WELL. Looks like a BIT more people wanted to review. (Thanks to you guys, by the way! Much love.) I can't help but feel that the rest didn't enjoy this. So how about we make a deal? If you read this and think it's incomplete, then say so in your review (along with other comments/compliments) and if I get enough of reviews saying so, I will.. sort of continue this, or at least give it an appropriate ending. As of now I would probably make another chappie if I get at least 3-5 more. :D So please, please review?**

**Oh, I edited it a little.  
**

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We let go when the time comes to hold on. 

Aya knew this for certain, and as much as it pained her to be so weak at love- the one thing she felt she had been skilled enough to hold on to- she knew what she must do.

She watched her supposed boyfriend as freely as she could, because as usual, he was not even looking at her.

She watched him hold up his wrist, mercilessly watching the seconds tick by on his beloved watch.

She sighed.

_Divided attention..._

"R-rei..." she started off rockily, shakily- just as she predicted.

He did not seem to hear her.

Tears threatened to fall, but she hastily fought them away.

She swallowed up a gallon of air, preparing herself.

"This isn't working out. I'm through with you."

Rei at last looked up from his watch to give her an icy stare. "What-"

Aya stood her ground. She held her head up high, and looked back into those cold, unloving eyes. "I'm glad I finally got your attention." she said, her tone annoyed and full of out-of-character impatience. Once she got going, it was easy to sustain it, she realized.

He inspected her doubtfully, his eyes casually ran her head to toe. "Are you-"

"Yes, I'm alright." she answered huffily. "Thank you." she briefly added, for she was still a polite girl at heart.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "Why-"

"_Why?_" she echoed angrily. Then, as if gathering herself was a task, she smiled. "Do I really have to answer that, Rei? I'm sure you know."

Aya might have been imagining it. She might have been hoping to hard. She might not have eaten enough lately.

But those cold, unloving eyes widened a fraction.

Ah yes, shock. That was an emotion, wasn't it? Looks like he had some of that after all.

"I'm alright." she provided, though her smile weakened. "So you don't have to feel guilty anymore, okay?"

In the silence that followed, she continued to watch him. She had gotten pretty good at it over time.

He seemed to be struggling over something. There was something that needed to be said, and he was probably fighting over whether or not he should follow what was needed or what was wanted.

Finally, one of the two won. He regained his usual aura. "But do you still love me, then?" he asked casually.

His face remained blank and unreadable as he said those words. It was impossible for any normal human being to achieve that.

Was this some strange talent he possessed?

Aya remained just as still, not quite sure how to react. She had wanted to hear him ask that, but at the same time, she dreaded answering it.

And then she let out a small, faint laugh. "But does it matter to you?" she asked with forced casualty, somehow proud of her comeback.

Rei stared at her idly for a few seconds, and then leaned back gracefully on his seat. He spread out his arms to rest nonchalantly on the bench, and bowed his head down to look at his lap.

But Aya saw a smirk creep across his shadowed face.

And she blamed herself. If she hadn't been so naive, so awkwardly honest all the time, and so desperate for him...

And now he was thinking she wasn't serious.

"You bastard..." she breathed disbeleivingly, shaking her head in disgust.

His head shot up at the sound of it.

"What are you looking so surprised for?" she asked, though her voice was shaking and so was she. "Everyone has their limits, you know."

She looked at him straight in the eye. She didn't care if he saw her crying. "You- you don't even care, d-do you?" she stammered.

"I'm being serious!"

Defeaning silence filled the air. The only sound was the wind whistling a tune and the soft rustling of leaves on the ground.

Aya kept her eyes on him, she watched him with as much intensity as she could muster, because this time, his eyes were set on her and her alone.

After what seemed like hours of this, after the season seemed to do another full round, he spoke.

"But do you still love me?" he asked once again, only a touch of urgency was detected.

Aya tried to empty herself of emotion, but she failed. Should she be hopeful? Should she be disappointed? Should she care at all?

As the endless questions played in her head, she asked back, "But... but why? Why do you want to know?" There was no mistaking the hope in her voice.

He hesitated, looking off into the distance as if he had not just heard the question, as if he would much rather push her to answer.

In a sudden, swift movement, he rose from his seat, so he was taller than she.

"Why do you want to know?" she repeated. She, obviously, was hungry for a good answer.

He sighed into the air, and then smiled at her coolly "Because it matters." His expression suggested that he felt as if he was making a fool of himself for her- he smiled sincerely, a hint of embarrassment was there. "It matters to me."

We let go when the time comes to hold on.

Aya was well aware of this, but just for once- she felt like breaking the rules.

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**A/N: How was it? Good? Bad? Horrible? Utterly and completely disgustingly awful? Please let me know! REVIEW!**


	2. Happiness is walking hand in hand

**Disclaimer: I don't own GALS! **

**OKAY... first of all, sorry for the long, long delay. I had intended it to be a oneshot thing, so you could say... I was afraid to mess up the story. ** **I hope I did alright. There will be more chapters. I don't know when the next update is, but stay tuned! It could be soon. Unlike the last time, I already have something. **

**I hope you like this chapter. PLEASE Review! **

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Aya refused to take her eyes off her feet. She watched them closely, one step after the other, entertaining herself by the way they seemed to maintain a certain beat... and then she realized she was acting like a fool again. Slowly, cautiously, she raised her head. Somehow, she was surprised to see he was still there.

She watched him from behind, dodging strangers and jostling past rowdy passerby without seeming rough or unbalanced. No, in fact, he was swifter and more graceful than she could ever hope to be- even if the concept being discussed was simply getting through the common Shibuya crowd.

And then, as if on cue, he turned his head by mere centimeters, and those emotionless eyes peered at her for a brief second before returning to the road.

And she remembered.

Remembered that she was on a new mission. A mission to a change of heart.

Actually, it was more of a change of spirit- which would, indeed, lead to a change of heart from Rei.

Now that she had spoken up, what was next? She utterly refused to change herself completely for him- of that she was certain.

So what was she to do?

She had found her voice, now what was she to do with it?

The only possibility... the only chance she had was to be honest. If she were to opt not to change herself in total, then she might as well do the opposite.

Bring out who she was inside.

Be honest with her feelings. Tell him directly what was going inside in her head... in her heart. And not just all those feelings and emotions that she so willingly poured out to him before. Everything counted. Everything, including how she felt when he brushed her away, pushed her aside. How she felt about his coldness, his unenthusiasm about the prospect of time alone with her- or the prospect of her, PERIOD. Today was the day she changed everything. The day she found her voice and used it.

If she could do that, would he like her better?

Aya stared after him longingly, unable to restrain herself. He wasn't looking anyway.

He never was.

Except just minutes ago...

She closed her eyes at the fresh memory of it, the way he had lent her his undivided attention, even for only a little while. The way he had responded to her temporary decision, the way- wait a minute.

She shook her head furiously, as if to shake off all of her thoughts of him.

_Devoted, not desperate! Devoted, not desperate!_ she chanted inside her head.

But where the brain lies, the heart can not. And oh, how she longed for more of those precious moments...

UGH! _Devoted, not desperate! Devoted, not desperate!_

She added another decision. If he did not react the way she so hoped him to, then all it meant was that he was a heartless, emotionless robot and she was better off without him.

Okay.

Inhale, exhale. She could do this. And she would do this now.

Aya lifted her head. She stared directly ahead- and she realized that she was stumbling behind him.

Her anger rising, she quickened her pace. After a couple of minutes, they were walking side-by-side.

"Just like equals." she muttered absently, happily.

Her soft voice reached his ears, and he turned his head swiftly. He held her gaze as they walked, his expression blank. "What?"

She blushed lightly._Did I say that aloud?_ After a few seconds of embarrassment, determination took over. She could do this.

Aya thought back to how she felt deep inside, the anger that could otherwise be left unexpressed, and her face twisted into cross, poised irritation.

She looked straight ahead again, seemingly unfazed. "You're not being much of a gentleman. We're on a date."

Silence.

He was taken aback, and she knew it.

She hid the grin of success that crept across her face. "Aren't we?"

He nodded wordlessly.

"Good." she replied, nodding briefly, as if to say- _"Now let us resume our walking!". _She slipped her hand into his and took a hold of it bravely, making sure that she stopped shaking nervously first.

There were a few minutes wherein they walked like that, her hand managing a tight hold on his limp, reactionless one- as if he was being forced into doing something, being dragged along by some crazed woman who had this massive crush on him.

They stopped in front of a pedestrian lane, where the stop light warned them and other walkers to wait.

She swallowed up the silence until she could no longer take it.

Slowly, cautiously, she took back her hand, slipping it out of his.

Confused, hurt, and absolutely embarrassed, she stood there. Her head lowered and she settled with looking at her feet once again.

As her gaze lowered, she felt her hopes do the same- sink. All her high expectations of this day just fall and land with a resounding crash, all because he chose to be a cold, (beautiful), statue and refused to hold her hand.

Crushed hopes.

Crushed dreams.

And then- just as the stop light signaled them to move on; he reached for her, grabbed her hand and continued walking.

She walked alongside him, stunned. "Rei..." her voice was cautious, unsure and barely a whisper.

He glanced at her briefly, and she knew she saw it.

A smirk. He smirked at her as if she was a hopeless case. Nevertheless- it was an endearing smirk.

And she was both proud and pleased.

She enclosed her hand in his, and kept up with his pace.

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**A/N- How was it? Please tell me. Also, if you'd like, you can make suggestions as to what you'd like to see in the next chapter/s. Thank you for reading! (reviewreview)  
**


	3. Coffee Cup Bits and Hankerchiefs

**Disclaimer: I don't own GALS! at least... that's what I want you to think... hehehe... just kidding.**

**Here is the third chapter... BEFORE you read it, I need to ask you something!**

**Please review and tell me what you think- WAIT- in that review, please tell me if you'd want a string of moments before I finish it or for me to end it already in one or two more chapters. Thanks**

**So... I fixed it up a little... try to enjoy. **

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The next few hours were spent walking around and eating. Lunch, then ice cream, and now they were entering a cozy little restaurant of sorts where they sold coffee and other drinks.

They took a small table for two. They quietly ordered their separate cups of coffee and waited patiently for them. As they did, no conversation passed through them, and Aya was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She struggled for things to say.

"So... we had a test today at school. It was pretty hard, but I, uh- I think I did good, although Ran was my seatmate and she fell asleep during the test, and her snoring was a little distracting, not to mention the drool that I was trying to stay away from... haha..." she looked down at her twiddling thumbs and blushed.

He peered at her through his eyes, discerning.

Silence.

"Um... that place w-where we had lunch was good. M-maybe we should eat there again sometime." she stammered.

He nodded idly.

She shifted in her seat.

Silence.

"Do you-"

"Why are you doing this?"

"H-huh?"

"Why are you trying to make conversation?"

She realized what he meant now. She didn't usually do that, but today was her day for taking the initiative. She thought she had to do something. "So we're not supposed to talk to each other now just because you don't like the sound of my voice or something?" she snapped. She had simply said something she had thought now and other times previously when he had asked her such a question.

He looked taken aback, but he recovered. "No, that isn't it." he sighed heavily and brushed some hair out of his face. "It isn't like you, that's all."

She continued to stare at him with some irritation.

"Look, it's good that you're speaking up, but don't change yourself for me." he rested his elbows on the table. "You're a quiet person like me and I think you're best that way." he said casually and then straightened up as the waitress arrived with their drinks.

She stared at him, wide-eyed, and realized something important.

Their hours together were spent in silence. That was not too unusual- what was surprising for Aya was that it was _peaceful_ silence, not the kind of awkward wordlessness that goes with unfamiliarity between two people. It was as if silence was their thing, the state that each of them were most comfortable with.

It had been that way the whole day until she had suddenly got paranoid when she saw a couple pass by them, walking arm in arm and chatting noisily.

But to each her own, and it gave her thrills and chills how they seemed to have a note of understanding.

She took her coffee in her hands. The cup was made of delicate and fragile glass, and she was suddenly re-introduced to how nervous he made her when it started to shake somewhat violently between her trembling hands and suddenly slip through her fingers and shattered into a thousand pieces on to the flawlessly clean floor. She screamed reflexively and got down on her knees, starting to pick up the pieces with her bare hands.

Rei stood up abruptly from his seat. "You clumsy idiot! Don't you know any better?" His cold tone was back. She knew her happiness couldn't last for long, but she couldn't help it, the tears began to fall. Meant insults hurt more when they come from the one you love this much, but she bit her lip and shot her head up to meet his eyes. "Don't talk to me like that!" she said, and although her voice was shaky, she silenced him. She wiped a tear from her eye and bent down to pick up more pieces. Because of her rashness, she pricked her finger on one of the sharp edges, and watched in horror as blood trickled down her hand.

She began to sob. Why did all these embarrassing things happen to her? Whenever she tried to do something right, something _wrong _happened and things just went so out of hand sometimes... it wasn't fair. All she ever did was try and try and-

"Ugh. Give it here." he said, grabbing her wrist. "It doesn't look to deep." he pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and ripped a part of it, and wrapped it around her finger. "So clumsy... be careful next time."

She peered at him shyly from her downcast view and realized something else.

He was only worried.

Once they had paid for the damage and left the shop, she began to talk.

"You didn't have to rip your handkerchief."

"Exactly. If you hadn't been clumsy and _stupid _enough to-"

"Yes, I'm sorry about that." she said, brushing it off as an irrelevant factor. There was something bigger on her mind at the moment. She grinned and broke into a little fit of giggles. "But you could have used the napkins from our table, you know."

"Well... ugh." he turned his head away from her and she knew he was hiding his embarrassment.

She laughed, and slipped her hand into his once again without any hesitation, beaming as he accepted it without any uncertainty whatsoever.

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**A/N- I fixed this chapter a little. Hope it made a small difference. I'm going to ask again, just in case you didn't read the one on top. haha. Please Review. Tell me what you think and if you want more chapters... if you _do _want me to "complete it" or something, then tell me if you want it to be wrapped up and ended already in one or two more chapters, or if you want more moments that would build their relationship in one day... and then when all they have had enough of those, a finish. Tell me, please, I can't decide. **


	4. Pinkish Fluff and Orange Sunsets

**Suck it up and Say it**

**A/N- How's everyone doing? Well, it took ages and ages, but it's finally here! I managed to wrap up this story today. I felt inspired, and I wanted to give this a proper ending. Hope I did. Enjoy!  
**

**Chapter Four.**

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Aya chewed on her cotton candy slowly and thoughtfully.

Or so she would like to think.

At this rate, it was more like she was chewing on air in overdrive.

_Get a grip_, she had told herself._ Get a grip_. _Wasn't it roughly half an hour ago that you pointed into the distance and asked to drop by the carnival?  
Wasn't it you that eventually managed to get him to try out cotton candy for the first time in forever?  
_  
She glanced at him.

He was inspecting the fluffy-pink item suspiciously with a face that deemed it Unidentified Food Object.  
But every now and then, he would (slowly but surely) pluck out a chunk of it and pop it into his mouth.

She smiled. Yes, it was.

She gotten him here on a spontaneous whim, _true_, and she couldn't fill the silence between them yet, _true_, but that didn't mean she wouldn't think of something.

She closed her eyes and breathed in the air. It felt light and optimistic. Earlier, she had promised herself that today would be a new day. Today had been more than that. Today had been a great day. Aya felt like her heart was full- not so full as though it would sink, but full as though she were finally complete.

Or _almost_ complete.

She tilted her head towards the sky and absorbed the bluish-orange hue. The sun was going to set soon, and the day would end.

She grasped his hand, surprising him a little. When his eyes met hers, she smiled again. "I want to ride the Ferris Wheel, if that's alright."

She wasn't going anywhere until she got this day right.

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She had approximately fifteen minutes until the end of the ride.

Aya doubted that the sun would set at the exact moment she had gotten everything off her chest, with the wind blowing in her hair and the perfect sky for a picturesque background- but still- if not anything, it was worth a shot.

They sat side by side in one cart- quiet as usual, but with new-found tension in the air between them. She knew that even he could feel it. He could sense that there was something important about the whole ordeal, and she was grateful.

"Look, Rei." Breathe in, breathe out. _You can do this. You've been doing it all day! You just need a bigger push for this one._ But even as she said it to herself, she could feel her hands balling  
into fists on her lap. Steadily, though, she told herself that it was now or never.

"I won't lie to you. I've been trying my best all day. I've been trying to be strong. I've been trying to be different while trying _n_ot to be different. I know it must be confusing for you because it sure is confusing for me, and I've had my fair share of inner battles because of that. But you see, when I get right down to the core of things, all I really know is that... I love you, Rei. Sometimes that makes me think crazy things or do crazy things, but it doesn't _matter_, because I..." and she trailed off.

Aya blinked a couple of times. Getting wound up in the middle of her speech, she had somehow managed to edge a bit to the right so that she was now half-facing him. She would have rushed on forward, too- if she hadn't had a clear picture of him starting to laugh.

To which concern, she vocalized a panic-stricken- "Why are you laughing?!"

Well, this was Rei, so it was more of steady _chuckling_, really- but the point remained. Her heart was slamming loudly against her chest. She had just summed up the majority of her feelings and anxieties into one speech. He should be either smiling endearingly, point-blank serious or shocked into silence- anything, but definitely not _chuckling. _

He shook his head- fondly, if she hadn't imagined it- and explained himself. "What's up with that look on your face? I don't think I've ever seen that kind of determined expression on you."

And just like that, Aya's face changed from fierce determination to anxious confusion to just plain pouty. "Well I did just tell you I love you." she huffed.

Her huffing did little to stop his amusement. In fact, it might as well have encouraged it. After a few seconds, though, he managed to sober up his soft laughter. "I'm sorry." he said- and she would've tried to complain about such a half-hearted apology- had she not felt him slide his hand around her shoulders, or felt him press his lips against her cheek. "I know you do."

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Approximately fifteen minutes later, it was time for them to exchange their good-byes.

Secretly, she wondered- would she get a confession from him? Would he return her feelings? Would she finally get to hear those three words from him? Would he say them?

She let her hopes rise- but as they came to the gates of the carnival, she let them fall back into nothing.

How could she honestly expect him to reciprocate everything she had let slip- much less have them vocalized? She really ought to have accepted such a blatant reality, but she couldn't stop herself any longer. One more time- just one last time, she wanted to garner the courage to express herself.

"Well Rei, I guess this is good-bye." She raised a timid hand and waved it at him.

She waited for him to mirror at least that, but he would not grant her the small favor.  
Instead, he looked suspicous and hesitant. "Why do you say that as if you won't be saying it again?"

"Because I won't." she explained as if it were the most normal occurrence in the world. "I told you I couldn't handle it anymore, right?"she smiled a soft, apologetic smile. "Somewhere during the day I let myself believe that there was still hope for us, but I guess I shouldn't be so unrealistic. I can't take much of this... unrequited business any longer." A quiet laugh. "So, thank you for sparing me one last day." A short bow, and then she pulled out the hand she had been waving for him to shake. "It was a pleasure to have known you."

And then time stopped.

Time stopped with her hand frozen in mid-air, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Time stopped long enough for her to feel the humiliation she knew she deserved.

Or maybe, time stopped long enough for the perfect sunset, the perfect sky to accumulate in the background. Picturesque.

And at the exact moment time had brought that picture in, he reached for her.

He brushed her hand away, but he reached for her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him and held her tight.

And so she heard it.

Thumping, pounding loudly in her ears- his heart.

That moment, she had her biggest realization of all.

She realized he didn't want to use words because he didn't need them. _She_ didn't need them from him because she had this.  
She buried her face deeper into him so that she could experience _this_ even closer, even better. This heartbeat, this feeling, this love.

He loved her.

She curled her fingers into the layers of his clothing. Let her savor this feeling. Finally, finally, she had gotten close enough to understand.  
Finally, finally, she was not _afraid_ to say it.

"I love you." she mumbled into his shirt.

Almost immediately, his hold tightened on her in return.

Finally, finally, she had learned to hear what she thought was being left unsaid.

Through the hold of his arms and the touch of his fingertips, she could hear him whisper back; _I love you._

**The End**

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_**A/N- And so ends the tale of Aya sucking it up and saying it. I hope you enjoyed this little four-shot! I hope I gave the ending justice and I hope I gave this pairing justice.**

**As always, I would be more than happy to hear what you think! Thank you for sticking with me through this story. Until next time!**

**No one and Nobody.  
**


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